Monday, November 15, 2010


Okay, so... First contact stories. What about them?

Well, they generally go into one category: the alien invasion movie. You know, that genre of movie where the aliens come down in their ships and their hyper-advanced technology and their this and their that and the other?

... You know what? I honestly don't care enough about this movie to give it an exciting lead-in.

I'll just get going with today's movie...


Something has descended upon LA in the form of a bunch of wierd blue beams of light sucking people in either to aliens or to flying motherships. Stuck within the same building, it's left up to Jarrod (Eric Balfour), Elaine (Scottie Thompson), and a group of three other survivors who are reeling from heavy partying the night before to survive the alien invasion.

Cue special effects spectacle. This movie does sport some impressive CGI sequences throughout that are actually quite well-done. They create some great action, and it is generally quite fun to watch these special effects...

...or it would be, if the script wasn't as awful as it is.

I'll put it forward simply: this movie has the worst script I have ever seen since I've started reviewing movies: even movies like New Moon have a better script than this piece of crap. How it even got greenlit by Universal, I have no idea. There are too many characters that get killed off like flies throughout the entire movie. This could actually create some tension, if I actually cared about who these people were. I didn't, and so I kept on waving my hand saying "Jesus Christ, get to the next fucking action scene already". The dialogue is incredibly heavy-handed as well, and it's so melodramatic I seriously shook my head in disapproval more than once.

It doesn't help that the plot can be face-palm inducing at a lot of places; all the characters can do incredibly idiotic things, especially when the plot says so. Things happen that are utterly ridiculous, and very few plot points are actually explained, especially in relation to what happens with these blue lights that the aliens use to suck people in. It keeps pulling stuff out of its ass, and the result is a plot that is an absolute mess by the time we get to the end. And the end? It's needlessly dark, and has one of the stupidest plot elements that comes right the fuck out of nowhere. (Even if you're paying attention.) Oh, and by the way movie, tactical nukes do not work like that!

It doesn't help that the acting is atrociously bad. I think there is only one competent actor in the entire movie: everyone else is incapable of portraying more than one emotion at any time. The fact the script gives them almost nothing to work with doesn't help this, but I place greater blame on the actors as they can't even portray fear correctly, which is the one emotion they should be able to get right for something like this. If they can't even get that right, they're in over their heads.

In short, Skyline is a terrible movie. I regret ever spending more than a matinee ticket on this movie, and in a way I wish I could get my eleven dollars back. The script is terrible, the acting is atrocious, and I don't care about any of the characters, thus cheapening the experience. If you want to see this movie (which I don't know why you would want to see anything from the minds behind such masterpieces as Aliens Vs. Predator), do yourself a favor and go see something else.


Skip it.

This is Herr Wozzeck Reviews. I'll see you guys next time.

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