Note: Hello, all, and welcome to a new idea for a column I've had. So... the Cloud Cuckloolander Treatise... That is where I go absolutely nuts and allow fridge logic to run free for any movie I've previously reviewed. It won't always make sense, but then again, it won't have to. So I hope you enjoy this new idea I've got.
Warning: The following treatise will contain major spoilers for Megamind as well as a few minor spoilers for the Saw franchise. Read at your own risk.
I firmly and very solidly believe that you had a liaison with Jigsaw at one point before the events of Megamind ever occurred. Why?
Well... one can't help but get the feeling that the entire movie is a gigantic gambit to make Megamind a superhero with his brains and all that stuff. I mean, what with doing stuff that makes Megamind reconsider where he stands, forcing him to take measures to reconstruct his life...?
What, you don't know what I'm talking about? Well, Metroman, you're one sly jokester, faking your own death within a copper dome so you could retire from your superhero life? I don't think you did it because you like music; where is your tour? You've only been hiding under your schoolhouse hideout ever since you "died", after all, growing that beard and drinking ice cubes that haven't melted yet.
Well, at least until Roxeanne and Megamind both found out about your reverie. And then you finally come out...
... to congratulate Megamind on becoming a superhero. No musical numbers (Michael Jackson posthumously took care of that, thanks), no superheroic return, nothing. You're just there to say "good job".
You can pretend that you wanted to be a musician all along, but think about it. You studied under Jigsaw at one point, I imagine.
Think about it; despite being dead for four movies, Jigsaw has still managed to make a presence of himself with Amanda and Hoffman. He was incredibly brilliant; all of his traps were metaphoric representations of their victims, after all. And he perpetuated an idea as well, which is very dangerous when you're referring to him. You learned the art of the Xanatos Gambit from him, no doubt, as you engineered everything based on a principle of your rival's behavior and manipulated it-- much like the way Hoffman got Strahm killed in Saw V.
I do have to give you credit for one thing, though; at least the lesson didn't fly right over the head of the person you were teaching it to. It succeeded with flying colors.
But I take it you had a pleasant time with Jigsaw? If you did, please do tell us all about it.