"The Expendables"

All right, so to kick us off today, we have a double feature lined up! So, for those of you that didn't follow me on DeviantArt and ThatGuyWithTheGlasses, sometimes I did this double feature thing where I featured two movies with a similar topic. Well... fairly similar topics. So the week's topic?

Action, Action, Extra Life!

In other words, we're getting a very action-packed Sunday today, starting with sh*t getting blown up, and ending with people getting kicked in the face. So...

Without further ado, I'll move the action to the first movie today.

The Expendables

Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) leads an elite group of mercenaries that call themselves the Expendables. Mr. Church (Bruce Willis) hires the mercenary group to overthrow a dictatorial regime on the island of Vilena, where General Garza (David Zayas) is running a drug operation with rogue CIA agent James Munroe (Eric Roberts). Together with a knives specialist (Jason Statham), a martial arts expert (Jet Li), an explosives expert (Randy Couture), and a weapons specialist (Terry Crews), Ross sets out to stop them.

I think we know what happens next, right? Stuff gets blown up, mooks get killed en masse, and fight scenes are had! It's been mentioned several times that The Expendables is a loving homage to 80's action movies. And on this, I agree; I was never a fan of the 80's action genre myself, but I can see why people really loved this aesthetic.

Sure, the plot is incredibly thin. Sure, the only characters that get any kind of personality are Stallone and Statham's characters. (Yes, Arnold Schwarzenegger is in this movie, but he's more like a throwaway cameo to make the trailer look pretty than anything else, really.) Sure, the one-liners are cheesy.

But who the hell cares? It's stuff being blown up and people being awesome. And that's really what 80's action movies are about. My only real complaint is that the action is filmed a little too close for comfort; in a few places it's a little hard to tell what's going on since it resorts to the shaky-cam closeups that I really hate in action movies these days. But when we can see what's going on, it's glorious, glorious action. Explosions? They come in spades, especially towards the end of the third act. Awesome fight scenes? You got 'em. Mooks getting gunned down. There's plenty of that.

In other words, The Expendables is the quintessential 80's action homage. It's honestly all about turning your brain off and sitting back to enjoy the impressive pyrotechnics. And while we can't always see what's going on and the plot is about as stiff as you'd expect out of an 80's action movie, in the end, what does it matter? The movie delivers on what we need to, and it's a very fun ride.

2.5/4

If you want to see it, go see it. If you don't want to, don't.

This is Herr Wozzeck Reviews. I'll see you guys in a few hours with Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.